Mobbing, Bullying, and Baiting: Reactive Abuse

Understanding the mechanisms of reactive abuse is essential to safeguarding the dignity of countless silenced victims

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Josep Oton

Regrettably, workplace harassment (mobbing) and school bullying are all too familiar, yet an effective means of eradicating them remains elusive. Perhaps one way to counteract them is to identify and neutralise some of the strategies on which they rely.

One such strategy is reactive abuse, a form of psychological mistreatment that can subtly infiltrate jokes and seemingly innocuous conversations. In a relaxed setting, behaviours that outwardly appear to stem from trust, friendship, or even love may, in reality, serve to humiliate the targeted individual. At times, the perpetrator exploits an atmosphere of wit and joviality to disguise insults and degradation. Beneath the guise of camaraderie lies a narcissistic and manipulative personality. In this environment, the victim is pressured into accepting as harmless what is, in fact, overtly offensive. In other cases, coercion dispenses with its mask of affability and reveals itself in all its cruelty.

Reactive abuse is a form of harassment—of relentless provocation—decided to push the victim to the breaking point. The aim of this emotional abuse is to drive the target to the brink, provoking them into reacting with anger, frustration, or even verbal or physical aggression, when, in truth, they are merely attempting to defend themselves.

The objective is unmistakable, even if not always explicitly planned: to shift the blame onto the victim, absolving the perpetrator of responsibility. The abused individual is left disoriented by their own instinctive response, while those around them may misinterpret their behaviour as impulsive, aggressive, or emotionally unstable. In English, reactive abuse is often called ‘baiting,’ a term derived from ‘bait’—a trap set to ensnare its victim.

he perpetrator deliberately provokes their victim, pushing them toward an excessive reaction. They target sensitive points again and again, gradually eroding the victim’s defences until, at their breaking point, the victim loses control. They intentionally activate unconscious triggers, sparking an emotional outburst. In that moment, the victim displays behaviours akin to those of their abuser. They may lose their composure, shout, or react in ways entirely foreign to their usual self. The roles have reversed.

The abuser then rewrites the narrative, hijacking the story to cast themselves as the innocent party, despite having systematically and insidiously provoked their target. The manipulator seeks to instil guilt in the victim, thereby absolving themselves of all responsibility. Their actions seem justified, as they present themselves as the true victim in the dynamic.
The victim’s reaction becomes a weapon in the hands of their aggressor, who is firmly in control. The abuser may escalate the situation further by feigning composure and condescendingly remarking, ‘Look at how you’re reacting; I did nothing to you,’ ‘You can’t control yourself’, or ‘You really should seek professional help’. At this point, reactive abuse converges with gaslighting.

The true effectiveness of reactive abuse lies in its power to paralyse the victim, leaving them too confused or ashamed to report the abuse or seek help. Enduring the intolerable hardly seems like the best option in the face of such injustice. Yet any instinctive response tends to be counterproductive, achieving precisely the opposite of the intended result. Victims frequently come to believe that they are, in fact, to blame. They walk directly into the trap set for them, struggling to navigate the conflict effectively. As a consequence, they may feel frustrated, misunderstood, and isolated.

Such situations unfold within families, workplaces, and sports clubs. Schools, too, are not immune to the perils of emotional abuse and manipulation. While authoritarian teachers have become less common than in previous decades, reports of teacher misconduct persist. Meanwhile, school bullying remains a harsh reality, despite the introduction of mediation strategies.

However, reactive abuse also compels us to reconsider certain educational dilemmas. Consider the case of a bullying victim who ends up being sanctioned or even expelled for daring to defend themselves. Or the teacher subjected to relentless mockery by students who eventually lose their rag and and get a ticking-off. Or the same teacher, systematically undermined by the school administration to the point of questioning their own abilities and self-worth.

And if I may push the argument even further—does this not also apply to teachers who, despite years of study and extensive classroom experience, are repeatedly told they lack training, when in reality, what is truly expected of them is to grin and bear it?

They are accused of dictating notes typed on yellowed pages, of forcing students to memorise tedious lists of Visigoth kings, of delivering obsolete knowledge—and when they challenge such unfounded claims, they are branded reactionaries, elitists, nostalgic for an outdated era.

A deeper understanding of the mechanisms of reactive abuse is essential—not only to safeguarding the dignity of silenced victims but also to unmasking the manipulative strategies wielded by those who have turned mistreatment into an art form.

Source: educational EVIDENCE

Rights: Creative Commons